The Misspelling of Amerika (And How did Santa get a stake in his mouth?)

Good Morning Chilrens!
Todays' topic is "How English Has Gone Downhill Since Texting and Twitting Took Over!" or also known as, " The Misspelling of Amerika (And How did Santa get a stake in his mouth?)"

If you feel how I do, then the current status of American English makes you grow hair out of your ears! It all began a few years ago .......... I noticed that many words on billboards and posters began to pop up with mysterious punctuation misspellings; mainly apostrophe marks in silly places. No, wait, it actually started somewhere back in the 1950's when folks were making signs for doughnut shops and ran out of space so they spelled "Donuts" instead. (Do you see where I am going with this already?)
So back to the signs of today with their misplaced apostrophes',(do you see that one back there? That's what I am talking about!) Words like kids', Wedding's, birthday's, you know, bad punctuation like that. I am a little OCD when it comes to things, but it tears me up when I receive a text like this, "I'm tryna c wat time yall goin 2 cum ovr?"
Do you see that?? That is the type of English that makes teachers jump off ledges!!! What is going on in the education system today that stifles the encouragement of correct English? Is this just me or what? Tell me I am not just paranoid?
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So the reason I came up with this post is that while picking up my niece from school, I passed a couple of signs that had me gasp at the inability to proofread. One sign was on a Dairy Queen billboard and it said, "Stake Basket Sale $4.99. Now we happened to be talking about Santa when we passed this sign and seeing that it pertained to food, someone in the car shouted out, "Here Santa, have a stake in your mouth!". Oh, the laughter that ensued after that!
I wasn't going to turn around a take a picture right then- I would do it when I passed by in 2 days, but someone must have noticed the misspelling and fixed it by the next drive-by.

Now the second sign is a true insult to Hispanic culture. I can't believe that it has remained unfixed for at least 4 months! This one you really had to see to believe. How can you misspell tamales???

I know that you have to cut back on the quantity of words you use when texting and twittering, but does the quality have to diminish also? With these unlimited calling/texting plans, can't you just send 2 or three texts??

So, there is my gripe of this week.
What do you think about the current state of spelling? In my opinion, it sux!

It's been two months already?

I really should be ashamed of myself for thinking that I could keep up with all of the things going on in my life and try to blog about it. So many things to juggle and so little time in which to do them.

You would think that since I have no real "home" to live in and maintain, that I would have more time on my hands to do the fun things that I like doing, say like, sewing, crafting and blogging. But in reality, I have less time. Our days are spent driving around looking for houses and apartments, dropping off children to school, picking up irresponsible adult-like teenagers from school, Dr appointments, and searching for food. Yep, searching for things to eat.
You see, the little hotel room in which we have been inhabitating for the last 3+ months has no oven and only 2 tiny burners in which I cannot put a large skillet and a good sized 2 qt. pot on it and cook at the same time. There are some heavy eating teens in our family entourage and they have to be fed a couple of times daily (at least), so a meal with us is not just a salad, buddy! I used to be a-cooking and a-baking more often so we would normally have a good amount of leftovers and an ample supply of things to cook in the pantry. Our current pantry can only hold about 3 half full grocery bags of food before the doors bulge out.
Hmmmmmm, I lost my train of thought........
Oh, add to that the lack of an oven or bbq grill and you can see that half of the meals we would normally cook can't exist in our repertoire anymore!
Now with all of that coupled with a nearly self educating preschooler, one lazy home school 15yr old, an almost college student, a partial seeing, new-to-Montessori-school student whom I have to transport to and fro, house hunting, lonely older relatives, high maintenance adults, needy relatives, OCD family members, long distance family members, loved ones from overseas, an upcoming wedding and a toddler with destructive tendencies, then you can see that I have little time for myself.

Most likely you have called me and I was driving, so my handy personal assistant took a message and I was supposed to call you back, but didn't. I have to say that it might take me 3 days to 6 weeks to get back to you depending on the level of busyness that I am drowning it at the time. My handy assistant will remind me multiple times until I actually contact you back. I am so sorry!

Each week I think of all the things I could write about but when my body touches the bed, there is a mental eraser that hits me and BAM!, I forget what I was thinking about.
So feel free to remind me, call me, nag me and/or email me till you get the results you meant to acheive!

Anywho, we are alive and have been busy lately. Eye surgery for the preteen and hernia repair for Mr, all within 8 days of each other.
 I think at this rate and level of stress, I might need a wig for Christmas!

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Next Blog: The Misspelling of Amerika (And How did Santa get a stake in his mouth?)

These boots are made for walking...........

Dearest Family and Friends,
 It has been a while since I've blogged (Is is obvious?) and I have to apologize for not keeping you updated, but I was on a bit of a pointless protest and it looks as if I still didn't make my voice heard.
Have you ever tried yelling while standing in a crowd? No one hears you unless you are screaming, "Fire". Then as if the clouds opened and lightning struck the group, everyone starts running, err, stampeding for the door.
Well, the point of this is that I was yelling "Fire" months ago and was hushed up by the ones I thought who would listen. Hurt feelings and wasted time have been a part of my life since the summer began and now we are here in Texas, waiting and surviving. Looking for where we are led to next.
The good old Air Force had made our last months in England pretty miserable. One, by not paying us for several months, not doing paperwork correctly, and mostly by giving us an abrupt ending to a glorious time of living in the UK. So we packed up our boots(lives) and left. We loved our friends, church and schools there and having to leave suddenly just tore straight into our hearts.
There is a God and he is hearing my prayers, wiping my tears and helping me stand, but I'll tell you that there are rays of sunshine out there, even in the shadows.
 Just look to the sky.

It's My Party and I'll Cry and Fry if I want to!

Today was an unusual day in our house. Yes, it was Wednesday- the day that I don't have to go out if I don't want to. It was also the day after Mr's birthday.
 The major significance of today was that the baby of our house turned two.
Now if you know me, you know that I LOVE BIRTHDAYS! No doubt about it, if there is a party to be had then it should be in the form of a birthday party because you always (maybe not 100% of the time- maybe 75?), have fun.
I have certain traditions that I do for my children's birthdays and one of them is being there when they wake up and being the first person to tell them "Happy Birthday". Another is that they always have some kind of party on their actual birthday- not a day before or after but on the real date of birth. They can pick out what they want to eat that day and sleep late and several other perks which go with the yearly celebration.

Now here is what happened to Baby Dear on her special day today.
10:21am -Awaken from a long nights nap 3 hours after I normally wake up because I know that mom has to     be somewhere this morning and has allowed me to sleep in cuz it's my birthday.

10:38am -Fall to pieces because mom wants me to wear my spring school uniform to take school photos in. I finally get her to let me wear all purple because I am her queen and she hasn't realized it yet! Our appointment was originally set for 9:45 but I slept late because I am a dictator.

10:50am -Spit out my toothpaste on the floor and fall out because I don't want my teeth brushed today or any other day! Didn't I tell you this yesterday or do I have to repeat myself tomorrow?

11:10am- Sit down to an omelette made with bacon, my second favorite breakfast meat. I wanted sausage but apparently you didn't get my memo, slave!!! I ate it all and also another plate of it then two small bowls of blueberries before mommy stopped feeding me and asked if I wanted pizza or sushi for lunch. I said "shushi" because who wants lousy pizza when it's your birthday?
Mommy made sure there were helium balloons when I went the the dining room and I was so excited that I kept hitting my sister with them and made her cry. What a sissy!

11:45am- Those people of mine- they rushed me out of the house to go and see the photographer who tried to make me smile with some fluffy stuffed animal. I looked at her like she was crazy because she tried that bribery on me last year and it worked back then. I am knowledgeable in the ways of bribery, you slave!

12:38pm-I parade down the main street of the Village holding my birthday balloon and stick my nose up as the people say to me "Happy Birthday". I love all of the attention and keep ignoring them because I am a dictator and the people love me because I am.

12: 40pm- I bust into the front door of my "shushi" joint and wave my hands at everyone there. They adore me and give me candy when I come in. They treat me right and feed me what I want. What more could I ask for? (That's not a smart question- I could always ask for something outrageous!

1:10pm- Arrive home to have a picnic with my sushi and get jilted by those slaves again. We eat at the dinner table and I want more because it is my birthday. Never mind that I had 5 pieces already and I am full. So, I proceed to leave the 3rd helping on the plate because I can. I go outside to play with my sister who is skinny because she should eat my leftovers and she dosen't.

1:38pm- Play around the back door outside and run to the door to tell mom that my fingers hurt. I am ignored and not pampered like I should be so I go back to what I was doing. I yell to mom again and then April checks me out noticing the plug covers are open. Somehow that plug has a bit of a zap to it and it was in my way so I touched it and got the shock of zappo. I nearly fried myself they said!

2:15pm- bathed myself in sand and cried because mommy would  not let me eat it. She said that I don't need an internal cleansing and wiping sand off of my bottom is a feat left to surfers. She suggested that we go and visit my adopted Grandma Elizabeth because she also needs to celebrate my birthday too since I am the most loved dictator in the world.

2:30pm- go and visit Grandma and play with the African drums in her shop. I love the soapstone animals and the carved wooden giraffes so much that I would like to eat these too. Mom says "No" and I cause an avalanche of wooden figurines to fall over.(That's what she gets! I caused that because of you, peasant!) Grandma gives me a lovely dress and I want to put it on right there in the shop. Nudity is no problem for me- I am beautiful and you can be jealous of my gorgeous physique!

3:40pm-Ride home with my chauffeur and be left there with the other people of the house while mommy goes to pick up daddy from work. I guess I can let her go and do that!

4:20pm- Get pushed on my bottom causing me to shift into a handstand, bounce off the couch, handstand again and land on the floor in a state of near psychosis. (Can we fire these other "caregivers"??)

6:15pm- The party finally begins and I was hungry for dinner an hour ago so I resort to biting the hotdog package to inform my captors/servants that they are late serving me my dinner. We sit down to eat and I inhale 2 hotdogs, a half cucumber and a handful of tomatoes while everyone talks about how much I have grown. (Frankly, I think that they have regressed since they can't seem to understand my perfect English speaking!)
We get to the best part- the ice cream cake! I have to wear some of this because cream is a wonderful moisturizer for my precious skin. (Never mind that it can't be absorbed through my clothes, but that is what laundry slaves are for, eh??)

7:30pm- My day is done and I announce my departure to my slaves by having a fit and rolling around the floor. I am upset and need my bath immediately because I have been outside in nature and smell, well....... earthy. I ignore the guests saying "Goodbye" and make it to my warm tub, mini Moroccan massage, and lotioning session. I finally pass out in my sisters queen sized bed because frankly, my ego needs room to sleep. My servant reads me stories until I drift away.  I am two now and the world is my oyster, er-no, sausage because I can't chew those oyster things very well yet!

*This article is interpreted by my people because I have them to work for me and I own them all.

The "Lazy" Games

"Never do for a child what he/she can do for themselves." Maria Montessori

Good morning!
It's been a while since I have blogged and believe me, I did miss it a lot but I had so much to do and I am still not finished with the task at hand but I have to share this with you.
I have begun a twist in this chapter of my life. I have begun to delazy and undependetize my children. Yes, those are two new words in the dictionary of life that I have just invented to explain my problem.
-You see, my children have alarm clocks and don't use them.
-Their bathrooms are less than 10 feet from the laundry room- and their dirty clothes are on the floor.
-They disrobe and sometimes put their clothes in the laundry basket with socks and underwear still in their pants, unseparated, and looking like they are invisibly still wearing their clothes, thereby causing me to have to peel them apart and put them in their separate hampers.
-They walk away form the dining room table and leave their dishes.
-They leave a mess in the bathroom-no explanation needed.

So that is my list for today, or at least everything I can think of at this moment that makes me crazy.
Now I was pretty sure that we had established the remedies to all of these problems before but as time has moved on and our family size increased, putting a strain on my already strained schedule and house full of clutter, these children have taken advantage of my lack of persistence and made my life difficult.
My husband occasionally chimes in and says, "You know they need to do that themselves." Well his hands off approach to parenting has made my work harder, so I thought I would take my own measures. (Oh, he was right, you know)
The latest craze in the world is "The Hunger Games" so since I have never read it nor seen it nor know anything about it, I thought I would use it's title to my advantage.

This morning I began step 1- make them get up on their own. (or at least in enough time to catch the bus because I AM NOT driving out to that girls school again this week!) Usually I go in and sweetly announce what time it is and that they need to get up and moving then I go downstairs and start on breakfast, then I go back upstairs and tell them that they are running late, then I go back downstairs and work on breakfast again, then a while later I go back upstairs and announce that they are LATE!
I realized how foolish this was months ago and how dependent that they have become on me to do this. The alarm clock goes off (when they actually set it), they roll over, cut it off and go back to sleep until I come and wake them up a few minutes later, again and again.


So do you see my problem? This kind of mess coupled with extremely late nights of coursework and still getting up early at 6am-ish and you can tell why I am tired, cranky and ignit. Now that I see the error of my ways, and I don't have time for anything other than my education(almost done!) and family, my time is like liquid gold raining down the drain. I want to sew, I want to travel, I want to go to bed before midnight. I want to be me again!

This week we started with getting up on time.
Next week we work the laundry kinks out. They are going to start doing their own!
Pray for me, this could get ugly!

Now the first steps have been taken and let this journey begin!!!!!

Is the "Farce" With You?

I know that the title of this is a play on words, but I really mean to pose this as a question.
Is the Farce with you?
Does everything you do have a tinge of comedic drama to it?
Can your life be put on screen as a sitcom?
Do your cheeks hurt from laughing most of the time?
Have you pushed a van that broke down in a drive through and received a callous on your hand lately? (Sorry, I just threw that one in there because it happened to me this week.)
Do you have that "Special Someone" in your life who makes you want to lose your sanity, and if your sanity was a solid object, say, a baseball bat, use it as a weapon against them?

If you can say "Yes", to more than 2 of those questions, then you have become one with the "Farce Side".
I have had people come up to me and ask- "Is what I read on your blog really true?
Frankly, I'd like to say "Yes, but truthfully, I'd have to say .............................. Drumroll please............ YES!
Now you know that I really do live the life of "I Was Lucy"!

I was angry at my brother for needing money this week and ran out of words to say so I called him a farce of adulthood. Anyone can be angry and curse, but it takes creativity to call someone something uninsulting and get the point across.
I don't mean to be mean, but sometimes I lose my cool.
Is this you? Do you lose your cool and couth but retain your dignity? Or does your dignity become a handbag and you have to put it down sometimes or use it as a threatening dangerous object?
Personally I don't condone violence, but if you lose your mind then, well, you aren't in control of your faculties at that moment. Wrath or adrenaline takes over and well, they have no logic. That also happened to me last week. I was in the laundry room, kicking through the clean clothes when I had a revelation. "Why am I doing this? Isn't Child #2 supposed to have this in order? Why am I here and they are sitting on their petunia watching tv? That's it!! I am not doing laundry again for any child over the age of 10! So I threw their clothes in their respective clean clothes bins and shoved them in their doorways, yelling "I am not doing YOUR laundry again, and if you EVER leave this laundry room in the state that it is in again, YOUR clothes will be out on the lawn. DO YOU HEAR ME???
Needless to say, I had to go downstairs and tell them this to their faces because no one heard me when I said it the first time!!! I was hysterical and they thought I was hallucinating! I really don't know if I got the point across, but I just asked my oldest and she said that she heard me say something about the laundry and it made her laugh! AWWWWWW MANNNN!

So take it from me, stop, think and breathe or folks will be laughing at your angry moments!

Now that I know that the farce is with me, I should use it to my advantage. Can I get a show on tv or should I get a psychiatrist to visit me?
Should we all join our farces together and change the world for the better?

(This post is brought to you by delirium of sickness.Two weeks and it's still going on......)

The Beginning of Something Undescribable

We, no, I decided to really get off the fence and bring Montessori principles into our home full of little ones (okay, just a couple of little ones). I decided to start our first real day of integration with several St. Patrick’s Day projects for my 4yr old to do. I had planned for many days and only had to go to the garage to get the gold coins for counting and adding to the pot of gold. Well, that fateful morning came and I had a crazy whim- let’s got to Ikea! I had been wanting to go for months and had been looking for an opportunity to go. I was sure that the activities I had planned were only going to last for an hour so at the last minute the plans changed- we were going to Ikea!! Yea!

Now the logistics of going on a trip with 2 little ones is quite comical. We live in England, the island of ever-changing weather.You have to be prepared for everything at all times.

Here is how that happens…………..

First, you have to have the little one dressed for the weather AND for the car trip. Do NOT forget spare clothes or you will go back home immediately and curse the fact that you were unprepared.

Second, you will need snacks, lots of them in a variety of tastes and textures since drive-throughs with healthy food do not exist anywhere on the planet.

Thirdly, you have to have a full tank of petrol (gas), just in case the traffic jam from outer space pops up and you are diverted through 22 miles of English countryside in the opposite direction of where you are heading. (Yes, that has actually happened to me here- twice!)

Fourthly, since the entourage you travel with always has a tricky and sensitive bladder, you have to carry a porta-potty unless you want to hold someone’s tushy in the bushes because the nearest toilet is not close enough!

Lastly, time your excursion between the hours of nursery school ending and the last child arriving home from school because if you leave the certain two at home together, you will have to replenish all snack supplies and leftovers because they were still hungry after eating the snacks that you left for them.

Now, get all these packed items to the back door and prepare to walk out. Spot check little girls and wonder why is one drooling?

OH NO! SHE IS THROWING UP!!! I can’t believe this! We got this far!!!!!!!!

Ikea trip cancelled!

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I guess we will start again next week…………